Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Rule #3 - Stay Closed-Minded and Picky!
"I just wish he/she..."
"I like him/her, except..."
These are all phrases you should hang onto and use as frequently as possible. You know, to supplement those small details that, in the grand scheme of things, shouldn't matter in relationships, but you manage to hold on to as a reason not to give someone a chance?
Okay, so rules #1 and 2 could be a little extreme. You still want to interact with people, and go out and have fun. Understandable. In this case we come to Rule #3: Stay Closed-Minded and Picky. This is what you use when you still can't shake the burdensome attractiveness you carry. You go out with friends and BAM! Next thing you know, you're talking to some guy or girl and having a great time! You start to think you'd like to see them again...Well, great, now you're teetering awfully close to the relationship, and this is what we do not want. So here's how we handle it:
It's good to have standards in what you want in a relationship and in a person you want a relationship with. But I'm not talking about legitimate deal-breakers or reasonable standards like, he needs to be a gentleman or she should have goals in life. Those are great, of course, definitely keep those.
But if you want to stay single, you have to really find those golden nuggets of miniscule reasons why that person doesn't work for you. His nose is too big. She is a little too tall. He wears T-shirts.
These are all the type of gems that will definitely keep you on the single track. As long as you stay unwavering in unrealistic and downright petty standards in your choice of who you will date, you will be golden!
You can always find some reason a person isn't right for you. You just have to look for it. Remember it's all about the little things.
In fact, it's best to imagine the person that you believe would be perfect for you (even though you've never really met this person, so you don't really know what they would actually look or be like). We will call this your Unicorn. People looking for Unicorns don't settle for a horse with a cardboard cone stuck to it's forehead, right? So why should you settle for anything less?
Always use your Unicorn to measure up anyone who has penetrated your fortress of solitude. Make sure you continually play up these ideals in your head and out loud. Take a mental checklist with you, especially when you interact with anyone you could even possibly be interested in.
If feelings start to creep up or they seem to be making they're way into your Feelings Town, you can simply hold them up to the list and see that they don't make the cut.
Basic standards like they don't have the right clothes, the right car, the right type of job are all great. You can extend it to, they don't have the right friends, they are from a weird country or state, they don't have enough grandparents, etc.
If you really want to drive it home, go for physical attributes they have no control over. They are too short, too thin, they walk funny, they have the wrong hair color, wrong eye color, they're bald, etc. This way, they can't actually fix the problem or it's a difficult problem to overcome, and they hopefully won't find you to be worth the time to fix it. Voila! You have nothing to worry about!
SO when you start to think you may be getting interested in someone, just hold up your mental checklist, and remember you're waiting for your Unicorn!